NAMASTE (^_^)

  THE PRAYERS There is something strange with my mother's prayer. Prayers that have been spoken are like sentences that had unintentionally strung. The words she seemed to want to convey but were implied to her the universe participates in every word he utters. Then, one by one's finds a way so that the baby will find a place for every word and sentence that has finally been spoken, for every desired time in the world of the child she loves.   Ada yang aneh dengan doa ibundaku doa yang terucap seperti kalimat yang diuntai tanpa disengaja kata-kata yang sepertinya ingin dia sampaikan namun tersirat padanyalah semesta turut serta akan setiap kata yang diucapkannya lalu, satu persatu menemukan jalannya agar sang buah hati mendapatkan tempat bagi setiap kata dan kalimat yang akhirnya terucap untuk setiap waktu yang diharapkannya didalam dunia sang anak yang dikasihinya.   An Ambiguous Person If it's in dim and vague, can bring a calm how about the sparkling and frenetic sky I...

    The Third , about my romantic relationship. I have been struggle about love life since i was 17, and my experience always teach me how to cope with a strange rejection. Last year also the same, i met many guys from Online dating and from my friends recommendations who try to match making me in order to help me to stay longer. I have to face the same rejection but in a different way than what i experienced before, for instance, when i started to date with local citizens and they know i came from Asian, they told me aha you're just kind of girl who want to try to use me for your purpose to stay in here or they thought that my love life is a shortcut for getting visa lol. They didn't know the reason why i came there, they even didn't know about my journey and how i really feel like there is something in Sweden that will help me to found a piece of puzzle that i am looking for but yeah its nothing hahaha.. its also a funny experience to get to know a guy from anyw...

           My whole life before I came to Sweden, I didn't know how it feels like to be lonely.. I've been living separately with my family since I was 15 to live close to my school, and I continue moving to pursue my study in college also when I start to work and has been traveling alone without any company in meantime, so I would say that I am pretty getting used to being alone to do everything to live but to feel lonely? I never experienced those kinds of feeling at all. I was 24yo when I arrived in Sweden. There is no complete doubt in me to go to a new country for the first time because I believe everywhere is my home. So I do not worry whether I will get lost or so on. I feel fulfilled and content even during my stay in Sweden. I've been through a lot of shit all of sudden during my stay, but I felt there is a higher power that always drags me out, keeping me safe and helping me in every pathway that I've experienced. When I don't have money, fo...

    After almost six months of living in my home country, the memory of what was happening in the past ten months living in Sweden can't vanish all of sudden. I still trying to deal with it and also dealing with the feeling that never stops wondering around and popping up the question many times such as am I such a loser? Why after my hard time over there I still can't figure out how to stay in Sweden?. How I could go back? Why do I hear it was easy for them to stay but not in my case? Why You god! not allow me to stay over there? and if you're not letting me stay at least give me a clue about how I can move on from it but nothing. I was being negative, stuck on my sadness swamp literally since the first time I arrive here. It is a strange experience in my life I feel suffering a lot yet at the same time I found a little happiness in it and I would say that is the thing that I miss... I feel alive when I can survive on my stand.     I decided today, after h...