NAMASTE (^_^)

           My whole life before I came to Sweden, I didn't know how it feels like to be lonely.. I've been living separately with my family since I was 15 to live close to my school, and I continue moving to pursue my study in college also when I start to work and has been traveling alone without any company in meantime, so I would say that I am pretty getting used to being alone to do everything to live but to feel lonely? I never experienced those kinds of feeling at all. I was 24yo when I arrived in Sweden. There is no complete doubt in me to go to a new country for the first time because I believe everywhere is my home. So I do not worry whether I will get lost or so on. I feel fulfilled and content even during my stay in Sweden. I've been through a lot of shit all of sudden during my stay, but I felt there is a higher power that always drags me out, keeping me safe and helping me in every pathway that I've experienced. When I don't have money, fo...

    After almost six months of living in my home country, the memory of what was happening in the past ten months living in Sweden can't vanish all of sudden. I still trying to deal with it and also dealing with the feeling that never stops wondering around and popping up the question many times such as am I such a loser? Why after my hard time over there I still can't figure out how to stay in Sweden?. How I could go back? Why do I hear it was easy for them to stay but not in my case? Why You god! not allow me to stay over there? and if you're not letting me stay at least give me a clue about how I can move on from it but nothing. I was being negative, stuck on my sadness swamp literally since the first time I arrive here. It is a strange experience in my life I feel suffering a lot yet at the same time I found a little happiness in it and I would say that is the thing that I miss... I feel alive when I can survive on my stand.     I decided today, after h...

How i got my second host family, after i terminated my contract with my previous family? Well, I didn't know how to solve it. First, I didn't have much money left to support me to stay. Those previous dramas also are making me exhausted to keep going. I was decided to go back home if I didn't get a new family after two weeks, actually. Because I was stuck, if I wanted to keep going to find a new family, they probably wanted me to provide a recommendation as a record that I am doing good being as an Aupair. However, I only had one experience as an Aupair, and it didn't work well (which I don't have). Most people had just judged me, that I was too lazy to work. Although, the experience that I have done said the opposite. It is just impossible. But you know the Universe. Luckily, as usual, they help me to lead the way. Suddenly someone from the Aupair Facebook group sent me a message that they said need a new Aupair asap after they flew back from their holiday in Turke...